


can we talk?

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F, Technically there's also rapata but I refuse to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14251899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: Tasha has a wild day.This can be seen as a sequel to "but she can barely hear them" but it works alone too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically all I want from the finale (liar)

They caught him! It's over. They caught Crawford. Roman escaped again, but it's alright, they'll catch him, eventually. And they caught the big fish.

So, of course, everyone is celebrating. Everyone is happy.

Except Tasha really isn't... She doesn't know what it is, but she isn't.

Well, she has a few theories.

The main one being the fact that the guy she likes is gonna get married. To someone else. Or that, while it stings, she's still happy for them, because, damn, Meg and Reade are such a cute couple and she loves them! They deserve to be happy.

Then there's Patterson. Luckily for her, after getting shot and giving the team a big scare, the blonde started to talk to her again. It was slow but day by day they got closer and closer, maybe even closer than they were before. And Tasha is so glad that she was forgiven, because she had missed her best friend more than she would have ever thought. But sometimes she still doesn't know what she can and can't do, she's letting Patterson lead the whole relationship. And it had been fine, but lately, she has noticed that Patterson is a bit off, like she's distancing herself from her. And Tasha has no idea what she did or how to fix it.

She's walking out of the locker room when Reade almost bumps against her. She stumbles back as he does the same, feeling a little flustered. "Sorry."

"Oh, Zapata! I was looking for you. Can we talk?" He asks once he realises who he bumped into.

"Uh, sure," she mumbles.

He smiles. "Good," he says before leading her to an empty room.

On their way, they pass near the lab and Tasha is pretty sure she heard Rich talking to someone. "--too long, and it was too late. Don't make the same mistake I ma--"

She wonders what that is about but forgets about it as soon as Reade leads her into a room.

"I'm not getting married," he blurts out when they are inside.

"What?" she asks confused.

"I love Meg. I really do. But... I can't... marry her without knowing..." he says, only confusing Tasha more.

"Without knowing what?" She feels sick.

"What I feel for you," he finally says, causing her to catch her breath.

"Wh.. What do you mean?" Her heart is racing, she feels a knot in her throat. She almost dreads the answer.

"I don't know... I don't know what it is. But I know there's something... And I need to know."

She doesn't know what to say, or how to feel. She feels like she should be happy but, at the same time, it's so vague that she doesn't feel anything. She's just anxious.

Before she can think of what to say, both their phones ping with a message.

It's Weller. There's a lead on Roman's location.

"Uh. We... We should go," she suggests, nodding at the phones.

He nods. "Yeah... Guess we'll have to leave this for later..."

\---

She's exhausted.

It's been a really tiring day. Both physically and emotionally.

First Crawford, then Reade and then Roman. She just really wants to go to sleep now.

So, yeah. Maybe she hasn't been able to stop thinking about what Reade told her, and what it means. What it means for her, for him, for Meg, for everyone. And she's come to no conclusion.

She just wants to go to bed and stop over thinking.

But then she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around and finds Patterson behind her, biting her lip. She looks nervous. Tasha's lips curl up into a smile. And she forgets about going home. "Hey," Tasha says.

"I need to tell you something," Patterson explains, looking around as people leave the lab.

As she waits, Tasha starts to feel uneasy. If Patterson wants everyone to be gone to tell her whatever she wants to tell her, it must be important. She doesn't know if she should ask but, right now, she can't stand the silence. "Is it about why you have been distant lately?"

Patterson's head snaps back to her. Her eyes have widened and she looks sad. Slowly, she composes herself and nods. Checking again to see that everyone is gone, she starts talking. "I... I didn't mean to. I mean, I didn't mean to be different or distant or whatever. But I just..." Unable to find the right words, she sighs and groans. "I need to tell you, because if I don't I will regret it my whole life but I don't know-- How."

Tasha takes her hands, trying to calm her down. "Hey, Patterson," she starts, waiting until the blonde looks at her. "It's me. You can tell me anything."

Patterson looks at her for a few seconds. And then she takes a deep breath and, without breaking eye contact, she says "I love you."

Confused, Tasha frowns while her lips form a smile. She chuckles. "I love you too, Patterson. You're my best fri--"

Patterson squeezes her hands, closes her eyes and shakes her head, cutting Tasha's sentence off.

And when she opens her eyes again, her gaze is so intense, Tasha can't tear her eyes away. She would gladly die looking at those beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm in love with you."


	2. Chapter 2

To say Tasha is a mess is an understatement.

In the span of one day, she went from having an unrequited crush on her best friend to not only having him tell her he feels something for her but also her other best friend telling her she's in love with her.

She went from 0 to 200 in less than 24 hours.

She can't stop thinking about it. She's lying in her bed, wide awake, trying to sleep and failing, because both of her best friends like her in a non-platonic way.

She just wants to sleep.

But her brain has other ideas. She keeps replaying Reade's words and Patterson's words. Keeps replaying their conversations. Keeps replaying old memories.

 

_"I'm in love with you." As soon as she says it, Patterson starts to freak out. "I- I love you. And I... I don't expect anything from you, I just-- I know you love Reade, but I thought you should know. After all, I've been telling you to tell him how you feel. And if I didn't, it would have eaten me alive forever. I love you. Please say something."_

_Tasha seems to be frozen. She hasn't moved since the first words came out of Patterson's mouth. Her mouth is slightly opened. She blinks a few times and shakes her head to clear her mind, probably. "What the hell is going on today??"_

_Patterson visibly deflates. "I... Uh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."_

_"No, no. That's not..." Tasha rushes to reassure Patterson. "It's just that... a lot of things happened today. I'm a little overwhelmed..." Patterson looks at her with wide sad eyes. "You're in love with me?" Tasha whispers. Patterson nods slowly. "Since when?" she asks softly._

_Patterson chuckles. "I don't know..." She says, shaking her head and shrugging. "I know when I realised. When I almost died after the explosion in the lab."_

_"You told me to talk to Reade that day, Patterson," Tasha reminds her in a mix of a sad and a questioning tone._

_Patterson looks down again. "Yeah..."_

_"I--" Tasha clears her throat. "I don't know what to say... I need some time to... assimilate it, I guess."_

_Looking back up, Patterson shakes her head. "Tash, it's okay. I know you don't feel the same. I just thought you should know."_

_Tasha takes a step closer, takes her hands and opens her mouth to protest. She doesn't know what she's gonna say but it doesn't matter, because the door opens. Reade enters the room and Patterson takes her hands out of Tasha's hold and takes a step back, looking away, while Tasha looks at Reade._

_"Hey, I was looking for you," he tells her. "Can we continue the conversation from earlier?"_

_Her mouth opens slightly as she takes a breath. She looks at Patterson, whose back is not turned towards her while she cleans up the lab. She switches back to Reade and back again to Patterson, sighs and nods before turning towards Reade. "Yeah," she says, the flash of a smile on her lips. She turns one last time towards Patterson. She feels terrible for leaving but she doesn't know what she's supposed to do. "I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Patterson faces them and gives her a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "Bye."_

_She approaches Reade and he takes her hand. Her gaze falls to them and then switches to Patterson, whose eyes are fixed on the joint hands, smile completely gone from her face. But Reade leads her out of the lab so she focuses back on him and the pressure she feels in her chest, which she knows has been there since he entered the lab but she's not entirely sure it wasn't there before too._

_He leads her into his office, locks the door and watches her, making Tasha even more nervous than she already is. After a few seconds of silence, she can't take it anymore. "So?"_

_He takes a deep breath and when she thinks he's finally gonna speak, he walks to her, puts his left hand on her side and leans down to kiss her. Right before their lips touch, Tasha realises what's going on, her eyes widen as she gasps and leans back, stopping the kiss before it happens. She puts a hand on his chest to hold him at a distance. "What are you doing?"_

_"Isn't it obvious?" he asks, frowning._

_Tasha takes a step back, removing his hand from her side and hers from his chest. "Reade, you're with Meg!"_

_"I told you. I can't marry her knowing I feel something for you."_

_"Yeah, and you also told me you love her. You can't use us to figure it out, Reade. You need to do it yourself. And cheating on your girlfriend is not the way," she says, arms crossed._

_He sighs defeated, looking guilty. "I'm sorry. I'm so confused..."_

_Her eyes soften a bit as her posture loses the tension it caught when he tried to kiss her. She understands the feeling. She's been feeling it for so long and especially after the day she just had. She knows feelings can mess your head up and make you act impulsively. "It's okay. Just don't do it again."_

She can't stop thinking about those two conversations. About why she pushed him away so fast when she has been wanting to kiss him for months. Sure, she thinks it's wrong and she likes Meg, but it went all so fast. She doesn't think a month before she would have been fast enough to stop him. Or have the strength to do it. A month before, she would have let it happen and would have felt guilty afterwards. But why did she know? She's not even sure she wants him to kiss her anymore.

A little voice in her head, that she keeps pushing away, keeps telling her it's because of Patterson. That she hasn't been the same since Patterson found out about Borden. That losing her was the wake-up call she needed to realise how important the woman is for her. That she hasn't been thinking about Reade as much as she did before because Patterson has taken over her thoughts. Even after she forgave her, Tasha hasn't been able to take her out of her mind.

But she thought it was just because she had missed her best friend while she didn't talk to her, because she wanted to fix things as fast as possible. Until Patterson said those words, that is. _I'm in love with you._ Those were the five words that broke her. The words that have her heart pounding, that have her not being capable to fall asleep.

Because, god fucking damn it, she thinks she's in love with her too.

Because she knows that she loves her. She loves her so much. And it just makes so much sense.

Because she has always known she liked girls. Even if she tried to ignore it, she always knew.

But she also thinks she likes Reade. He's her best friend. He's amazing. He reminds her of Ricky. And she loved Ricky. Sure, they worked better as friends, but he was her first love.

But Reade is with Meg. He loves Meg. And he doesn't know how he feels about her. Patterson does.

She just wants to sleep.


End file.
